I inquire, I respond #2 - answer key (for those playing along)

And now, the answers to those brain-boggling questions from Ir,Iq#2:

1. Do you file 0, 1, or 2, etc. on your W4s?

Shouldn't you buy me dinner before asking such personal questions? Whichever one lets the government have less of my money to start unjustified wars with.

2. Have you ever thought about leaping from a tall building - not to die, but to find out what falling that far feels like?

Every time I'm in a tall building.

3. Would you, if you could get away with it socially, tell people your unvarnished, abject opinions?

I'd like to say yes, but in reality, I'd still probably be too polite to smite someone like that.

4. What is your earliest childhood memory/how far back can you remember your formative years?

My earliest childhood memory is holding my baby sister when I was two. Otherwise, breaking my leg at 3-ish years old.

5. If you were forced to give up either the ability to read or the capacity to enjoy music, which would you choose and why?

In either scenario, hand me the pistol - I'm done!

6. What horror movie would you be in and why?

Dario Argento's Inferno - because its so surreal and it makes little sense. I'd be all right with dying for a chance to live in that wacky part of Italy.

7. Do you believe the term "racism" is valid? Why or why not?

Racism is an archaic and invalid expression. It refers to the bigoted notion that the human "race" is made up of subspecies, which is thoroughly and utterly ludicrous and scientifically unsound. It has as much credence to it as creationism. If the world was actually created several thousand years ago, then maybe various skin tones and ethnicities would actually have major physical and mental differences.

8. What would you choose to power your dream-car?

Bullshit - we've got an endless supply of it on this planet!

9. Where is your ideal place to live?

My dream residence is a little villa on the coast of Spain! Mas cervesa, mas margaritas y tapas vegetariana por favor!

10. Do you ever have brainstorms while going to the bathroom?

Sheesh, are you gonna ask me about my last physical next? Yes! The bathroom seems an oddly fertile place for creative ideas. Next best place: when I'm in bed, just about to fall asleep.

11. If you could get a hold of a time machine, but were only allowed one trip into the past or future (knowing you could not alter anything, merely observe), what would you do with your trip?

I want to say something profound, like watch the first man-fish take its initial steps from the water, or catch Gutenberg as he designed and built his printing press, but I'd probably just check out Otis Redding in his prime, or hop to a Stoodges/MC5 show circa '69.