Hicksville Hex (The Devonsville Terror)

Oh, ya hey der. How's it going? Oh, that's pretty darn good, ya know. Oh, me? Well, not so good ya know. Why's that? Oh, well ya see - I live in this small town in New England. Ya see, everything's supposed to be just hunky-dory, but we've got this little problem - ya see. We got these outsiders. What'ya mean, my accent is too mid-western? Oh well, Wisconsin is the new New England - at least according to this film's location shooting.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, so we had these three young ladies, ya know, move into our tightly-knit, CHRISTIAN community, and well, ya know, they don't seem so great. They been putting all these ideas, see, into our kid's head. Ideas like: women could function without man-folk, like God could be a woman, like maybe, just maybe, there might not be a proper, christian god. I don't know, but I don't like the cut of their jib.

Ya see, many years ago, this small New England town (not, I repeat, not Wisconsin, ya know) was infested with witches. Them witches ran around, messin' up the livestock, withering the crops and corruptin' the men-folk with their way-too-sexy bodies and way-too-radical ideas. Come to think of it, these women bear a peculiar resemblance to some a them? Hmm...

Anyhow, Ulli Lommel he come out here and shoots this film, not too disimilar from our small (ahem) New England lives. I think its supposed to be some allegory about how people oughtn't judge others for being different (think I read something about that somewhere), and how hysteria is never in short supply when superstition outweighs reason and ration, and how ugly truths are often better hidden underneath rhetoric and lies - but I don't know.

Its hard to get past this whole Wisconsin for New England thing. Plus, can't say the acting is da greatest in this little film, ya. I mean, aside from this Donald Pleasance character, its a little sparse in der. The plot takes a while to develop, but ya know, it gets pretty tense. I mean, I don't really see the connection in what we did to them ladies and what them New Englanders did to tha witches, but whatever brings da cows home. Crazy German filmmakers should be out tendin' the livestock, not making pseudo-artsy horror films.

So dats my story. Have a good day.