Let's face it, we've all got cultural tastes which stretch well beyond the cool, the relevant - even the outro - and into the closet of denial. I am now laying bare this murky closet, airing the stinky sock music; the dingy, moldy plates of film; the dust-infested tomes stashed so far from the light that they're practically albino. Enjoy my bathos (in no particular order):
11. Smack by Melvin Burgess.
Now admittedly this book is rather dark and disturbing for young adult fare, but it's still a young adult novel. The subject matter hits a little close to home as well.
10. Oingo Boingo.
Some people tell me I shouldn't feel guilty (and in fact I don't) about liking - no - loving this band. But I seem to get an awfully large amount of odd stares when I start rocking out to "Weird Science." You know what - fuck it! I'm not guilty at all: I love Oingo Boingo!
9. Star Trek (pretty much anything aside from Enterprise - sorry Count Bakula).
I understand that this unquestionably places nerd brackets around me, but I can't help but enjoy their somewhat hackneyed and cloyingly optimistic messages about our society cum the future. Fine! Here's my lunch money - now leave me alone.
8. Third Wave Ska.
Goddamnit I know! It's rather lame! But I loved that sound in the 90s - that I can't make up my mind whether I'm a hardcore/punk band or ska band - and I can't seem to get over it.
7. Secret of N.I.M.H. by Robert C. O'brien.
Look, this book may be for kids but it has it all: action, drama, intrigue, science-fiction cautionary edge (technology vs. human spirit), hyper-evolved rats and it's an allegory to boot! Most adult fiction wishes it had this much going on.
6. Charmed.
I know I have an easy out - numerous sexy women in the cast. But I have to admit that I completely got sucked into this show. That the cast is easy on the eyes doesn't hurt either, but lets face it - this is the definition of guilty pleasure.
5. Dio.
There is no irony in my enjoyment of Dio. I understand how this makes me look. Meh.
4. Weather.
What do I mean by weather? I mean all of it. I love watching the weather channel. I enjoy reading about tornadoes and hail and lightning. I own a video narrated by Buzz Aldrin with nothing but footage of tornadoes. I would be a storm chaser (refer to I Inquire I respond). I would even be a weather watcher - ham radio and all. I'm a weather dork and I accept full responsibilities for all which that entails.
3. Son In Law.
I know - it's a Pauly Shore movie. No one is supposed to like Pauly Shore movies, except after his reinvention - and not even then. I saw it when I was young, and I liked it. I watched it several years ago on television and I still thought it was fun. "Inbreeders!"
2. Diablo II
I've never considered myself beholden to any one thing. I have spent many hours living through consoles or video-blind at a CRT monitor, but my shame comes not from my attachment to, but from my inability to escape from Diablo II. I can't even fathom the number of hours, drained away by that pixellated succubus. My greatest salvation comes from my inability to run Diablo III (upon its release), due to my antiquated computer.
1. "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.
What can I say? The song just makes me happy. Is it wrong to feel happy? I think not.
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